leeaison

I love a capella!

2009-02-01T02:29:00.000-08:00

I am so jealous of people who have talent like this!

Re-thinking

2009-01-19T22:17:00.000-08:00

A wonderful example of a redesign (and more importantly, a re-thinking) of something that is so familiar that we long ago stopped questioning the efficacy of its design. I'm so glad there are people who can find creativity within something as prosaic as a traffic light. We should all surround ourselves with people like that.

Why?

2009-01-19T00:19:00.000-08:00

Just in case you've forgotten...

2008-12-16T22:13:00.000-08:00

The Rules of Bedroom Golf:

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.

10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.

12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.

13. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.

14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.

15. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

(Unofficial) State Mottos

2008-12-11T00:51:00.000-08:00

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
Alabama: Like the Third World, but Closer! (thanks to Jim Villani)
Alabama: Keeping it in the Family Since 1819 (thanks to Robert Pfaff)

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Alaska: Jeez, it's Cold.
Alaska: Yeah, But It's a Dry Cold. (thanks to Andy Hynds)

Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat
Arizona: Soon To Be the Pacific Coast State (thanks to Michelle Steiner)

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
Arkansas: Attention K-Mart Shoppers! (thanks to Mike Tamburri)

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: Now 100% John Denver Free! (thanks to John Mozena)
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet
Connecticut: The Middle C is silent, Ca**hole. (thanks to Mike Dougherty)

Delaware: Everything is Smaller Here!
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Get Off of My State, You Kids! (thanks to Joe Lex)
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Florida: So Close, You Can Smell Fidel (thanks to Jim Villani)
Florida: More Than Just a Great Place to Die (thanks to Joe Lex)
Florida: America's Wang

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes. Well Okay, Not Really, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Idaho: You Can Be Da Ho Next (thanks to Ken Hirlinger)

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Indiana: Dan Quayle's Favorite Country! (thanks to Nabeel Ibrahim)

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things with Corn

Kansas: First of the Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, but That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, but We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Massachusetts: Now with 30% Fewer Kennedys! (thanks to Brian DiMattia)

Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come and Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Missouri: Loves Company! (thanks to Ilene Morgan)

Montana: Land Of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nebraska: The "N" is for Knowledge (thanks to Chris Pultz)
Nebraska: Land of Two Seasons - Winter and Construction

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Hampshire: Just Like Old Hampshire, but Newer

New Jersey: What Smell? (thanks to James Rouse)
New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New Mexico: Cleaner than Regular Mexico

New York: You Have the Right To Remain Silent, You Have the Right To an Attorney

North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One of the 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
Ohio: Where One of Your Dad's Friends Lives
Ohio: It's Not Just "Hello" in Japanese (thanks to Lara Allan)

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl - It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
Rhode Island: Small, Yes, But We Know What to Do with It! (thanks to Joe Lex)

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep
Vermont: Gettin' Busy with New Hampshire since 1791

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family - Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
Wisconsin: Come Smell our Dairy Air

Wyoming: Where Men are Men (And The Sheep are Scared)

Thanks to Funny2.com

Gross...but I still laughed my ass off

2008-11-23T23:00:00.000-08:00

Anticipation

2008-08-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

As we get ready to leave in the morning, Jack starts following us around in anticipation. He sits on the runner in the foyer near the coat closet looking at us quizzically - are you gonna take me somewhere today?

Software upgrade warning!!!

2008-07-21T22:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User (KEEP READING)

______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best Wishes,
Tech Support

Found at Mile High Top Sites.

Spoons

2008-06-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When another waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent."

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don’t know about the others, but I use
the spoon."

Found on the web. Dedicated to all my friends who used to work at Andersen Consulting...or in restaurants.

Simply Genius

2008-05-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

As an American with an Asian heritage, I've always been fascinated with the topic of dichotomy between East and West. Liu Yang's work beautifully presents the cultural, philosophical, and societal contrasts between East and West. The simplistic art forms speak to how she has powerfully distilled a complex topic into its essence.

Arriba a Roomba!

2008-05-29T23:57:00.000-07:00

Helen finally convinced me that we should get a Roomba to automate our base elevation cleaning. Her research assured her the 5th generation sucking robotic mechanism doesn't...well, suck. Now we can just press a button and the little sucker comes to life and traipses around our rooms to hoover up all the stuff that loses out to gravity. The Roomba vectors its way around the entire room, crawling under places that we'd skip because it's too much of a pain to move that lamp or chair. We can even program it to run automatically at set times. After it's finished, it scurries back to its base to re-energize and wait for the next cleaning opportunity. Pretty neat.

We miss H&H Bagels

2008-05-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

Since moving from New Yawk, we've missed our H&H Bagels (lox and cream cheese for Helen, cream cheese and jelly for me). Luckily for us there is a local bagel place near work that comes close. Blazing Bagels certainly aims to please - making fresh bagels every day in a wide and unique variety. Snickerdoodle, Jalepeno, French Toast, Cheddar & Chive, Asiago. They're even getting trendy introducing "healthy" bagels - their latest creation has ZERO fat...

I also love that they have a sense of humor.

The acrimony toward the Redmond city council stems from a legal battle. Unfortunately, Blazing Bagels is poorly located on a dead end street in a corner of Redmond that's full of small manufacturing and warehouse buildings, so the owner hired a guy to wear a giant sandwich board and wave at passing drivers on nearby, heavily trafficked SR-202. The city council issued a cease and desist order, which Blazing Bagels fought on the grounds that human signage advertising was allowed to other types of commerce and organizations - such as signs for open houses, car washes, and political candidacy. Needless to say, Blazing Bagels won their fight, and I imagine this sign over their door went up soon after.

Musical breaks out at the food court

2008-05-12T22:52:00.000-07:00

Another great flash mob prank from Improv Everywhere.

You gotta be tough to be President

2008-03-28T23:31:00.000-07:00

Found this little gem at Urban Outfitters. No matter whether you're a Democrat, Republican, or Apathetist, ya gotta love a country that has the balls to make fun of itself and its potential Presidents.

Question of the day:

2008-02-11T23:55:00.000-08:00

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Almost Perfect 18-1

2008-02-04T23:45:00.000-08:00

What a great Super Bowl! I wasn't especially excited this year since one by one all my teams fell like dominos. First and foremost I'm a Jets fan...I know I know...they are awful, and the season basically ended after like week 5 for me.

After week 5 I started rooting for the Colts, because I like Peyton Manning, and also because they're my homie PJ's team. Wham! They lose in the divisional round and Peyton's going on early vacation.

As a transplant to Seattle, I get to root for a decent Seahawks team, and they look like they're jelling at just the right time. Bam! They run into Favre and Grant at Lambeau and wilt like pretenders.

After that performance against the Hawks, I couldn't help but hope that Favre would take it all the way to XLII to face the unholy Patriots, but they let that dream slip away.

So Super Bowl this year was down to a team I didn't care about and a team I absolutely hate. Aaarrrgh! Where's the justice? But the fates rewarded me with a tight nail-biter of a game, setting up a dramatic 4th quarter which pulled at your guts. What an awesome finish, and what fun to watch the Patriots blow their season and their chance at history! I loved how they came up just short, and how they will suffer this loss painfully for a very long time. Yay G-men! Hahahahahahaha.

Freaky Test

2008-02-01T23:57:00.000-08:00

Go to this web page, read the directions carefully and take the test.

Grand Central Frozen

2008-01-31T23:47:00.000-08:00

You've undoubtedly heard of flash mobs. Here's a very cool version in New York's Grand Central Station organized by Improv Everywhere.

How the hell is this done???!!!

2008-01-21T22:50:00.000-08:00

glumbert - The Magic Trick You'll Never Figure Out

Hey There Delilah (My Version)

2008-01-20T13:10:00.001-08:00

Starts off like some dude covering the Plain White T's, but actually pretty funny - in a sick sorta way.

Hotel California - Cuban style

2008-01-16T23:30:00.000-08:00

Possibly the most amazing rendition of the classic from The Eagles. Hit the play button and close your eyes. Then read the comments.

Who should you vote for?

2008-01-14T21:16:00.000-08:00

Are you as confused (or apathetic) as I am about who to vote for? I offer you the no fuss, no muss instant candidate picker. Now you too can get your vote on in less time. From the country that gave you "6 Minute Abs" and the 2-minute microwavable meal.
UPDATED: Another good candidate picker here.

Who's your candidate?

2008-01-05T23:37:00.000-08:00

I'm one of those people. Yup. Like most people I know, or at least those I'm comfortable talking politics with, I don't have the stamina nor stomach to stay very engrossed in this drama. Not at this point anyway.

Yeah yeah, I know it's important. And every vote counts. But as much as I'd like to care more, it just seems like our nation's politics is a game played by those whose primary reason for playing is to be part of the scene. Is it just me or does it seem like today's crop of politicians have more in common with Paris Hilton than with Winston Churchill? Is it the rich media factor that demands our leaders be judged in part on their "star power?" We keep hearing, and talk about choosing our leaders based on issues, but doesn't it seem that as we winnow the true contenders from the field that the actual distinguishing factor is often charisma? Hey, I'm all for a good looking President to represent us to the world, but honestly I'd rather have one that God gave second helpings on brains and character.

Maybe our political system is just so cumbersome and entangled that even the most chaste and quixotic candidates find themselves pushing against overwhelming inertia - and that's if they've got any resolve or ambition left over after actually getting into office. Or maybe it's because our country is so vast, with so many constituencies and problems that Presidents and Vice Presidents can only really drive a handful of decisions. After all, our elections mostly boil down to deciding between 2 or 3 issues. We kick off campaign seasons with what looks like a promising Chinese menu of choices - pick 2 from column A, 1 from column B... When we get to the voting booth, the decision often boils down to which candidate comes closest to matching my view on my top two issues.

Most unfortunately, even if your candidate wins, that doesn't in and of itself spawn the idealized changes and improvements promised in all the campaign rhetoric. Your candidate needs some downtime to recover from a grueling campaign, get familiar with the new job (find out where they keep the Presidential terry robes and such), spend time thanking all the folks who helped them get elected, and hobnob with all the other people who have to ratify or support decisions. And don't forget all the photo and media opportunities that need to be prioritized because after all image is what it's all about. After awhile, when something that looks like the change/reform/proposition which we pinned our emotional and electoral support to makes its way into the policy arena, it kicks off a round of maneuvering between opposing forces that exhausts time, energy, and patience. The result is usually some insipid residue of that shining beacon of campaign promises (I think the technical term for this is 'compromise').

Maybe the truth is that it's our own fault. If the way I feel about our political system and its curators is even somewhat prevalent among the people of this country, if we don't have the time or will to demand better, then we shouldn't wonder that we have a system that perpetuates the hegemony of a select group who spend more time and energy propping up the system than actually solving problems. Certainly our own apathy is at play here. There was a time when some people didn't have the right to vote, and those people fought and died for that right. That still goes on in other lands outside of the good old US of A. Perhaps we as a nation feel so entitled to vote that it has become a chore rather than a right. Oh yeah, every 4 years, like clockwork - sometimes it feels just like bringing your car in for scheduled maintenance. It's annoying but you know it's gotta be done. And you hope they don't find anything seriously wrong, and that it won't cost too much. Oh, by the way, maybe you let them know about that passenger door that doesn't close right.

Maybe we as a society have created a political system that is so mundane that its main purpose is to keep itself running without changing anything too drastically, and that's why we only deal with these decisions every 4 years. Maybe we've graduated to more important debates such as what exactly is wrong with Britney? Or whether Bonds' record should have an asterisk behind it. Maybe we deserve what we get.

Clients: the other white meat

2007-12-24T01:22:00.000-08:00

For everyone who's ever had to deal with clients - and that probably means all of us - here's something you'll appreciate. Read on and enjoy.

Gangsta graphing - it's the new hardcore nerd

2007-12-16T00:19:00.000-08:00

Ted posted a gangsta graph on his blog recently, so here's one I found to respond. Gangsta graph duel anyone?

You can truly find ANYTHING on the interweb!

2007-12-15T11:23:00.000-08:00

Found this while Stumbling on the web.

Initial reaction: I laughed my ass off...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

But then: the more I thought about it the more sense it made...hmmm

And so: I started looking around the site to learn more...and that's when I found the Humor page. Make sure you click on the "Worst Date Ever" link. Repeat laughing your ass off...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Try ur hand at backyard baseball

2007-12-14T23:12:00.000-08:00

Just like when you were a kid...

Play Games at AddictingGames

Overheard in a court room

2007-12-12T21:04:00.000-08:00

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

That's why it's called Canadian football

2007-12-09T23:57:00.000-08:00

Like most guys, I'm into my football, making this the greatest time of the year. Stumbled Upon this hilarious clip of an end zone celebration in the CFL. Doesn't look like much until you see it from a different angle at the end of the clip. Funny as hell!

Man Law: Write it out before you hyphenate

2007-12-06T22:43:00.000-08:00

When Helen and I got married, she did not hesitate for one second in deciding not to hyphenate her last name. Here are a few more examples of when that's not such a good idea.

Reminds me of the old telephone game

2007-12-03T22:42:00.000-08:00

Having worked in both advertising and wireless product development, I really appreciate a good creative. Watch it.

First snow of 2007

2007-12-01T18:27:00.000-08:00

Just got the first snow of the year this weekend. Since we're pretty high in the foothills we actually got socked in with about 8 inches!

I love when it snows because it makes everything so much prettier, especially the mountains. Of course, western Washington doesn't really get the type of real winters that befall other parts of the world.

Of course Jack loves the snow! Ever since the first time we took him on a snow hike he's absolutely loved playing in the snow.

Got me plenty of beer, lots of football and movies on the tele, so it's all good!

Newsmap

2007-11-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

If you're like me, you probably wish that you could scan all the news headlines in a single visual glance and then decide what interests you. Most traditional news sites seem to have designed their online editions to map to their printed versions. Although this may insure a sense of familiarity, it's a model that bears exploration. A few years ago I fell in love with Google News, and that's been my home page since. Newsmap presents an interesting twist to the way we might consume news. Give it a shot.

Cool Lego Art

2007-11-28T00:54:00.000-08:00

Click the picture for more.

The New New Math

2007-11-23T23:33:00.000-08:00

We spent a nice Thanksgiving evening at our friends Gus and Shaz's - drinking, eating, laughing and talking. Surprisingly one of the most interesting topics of conversation was about education. Since Helen and I don't have children, we were fascinated by the discussions about how math is taught in grade school today.

Unlike the traditional algorithms our generation learned, today's math includes some new alternative methods and attempts to blend in foundational problem solving approaches. Concepts like clustering, lattice method, and partial quotients are being touted as new ways to teach basic math skills and comprehension. Among the revelers were a teaching assistant (and mother of 3) and a school librarian, so we got first hand insight to the new thinking and strategies for education.

Although I wholeheartedly agree with teaching problem solving skills, something bothered me about the fact that they don't teach rote methods like the multiplication table anymore. Granted that students benefit from understanding that problems can be solved in many ways and that thinking about how to solve a problem is a valuable skill, it seems to me that there's an equal benefit to following that up with teaching the most efficient methods. After all, there are times you need answers, and times when you need answers quickly.

It's certainly a ripe topic for debate, and I found a conflicting viewpoint offered by MJ McDermott:

All in all, an interesting evening of topical discussion, and certainly an appreciation of how much innovation and progress have come to education over the past 20 years.

Dear Patron of the Arts...

2007-11-22T21:44:00.000-08:00

A hilarious post from the Best of Criaglist.

Mysteries of Stonehenge Revealed!

2007-11-18T22:52:00.000-08:00

We've all watched the Discovery Channel specials about the mysterious origins of Stonehenge and how inexplicable it is that druids could build it without complex tools or huge numbers of laborers. Here's a video that shows how it could have been done with some simple ingenuity.

The business of dating

2007-10-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

Check out this post and response found on Criagslist. Possibly one of the most hilarious social excerpts I've ever encountered!

Incredible halftime show

2007-07-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

An argument for having kids

2007-06-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

I want you back Jackson five cover by Castillo kids

Dancing Machine

2007-06-22T23:41:00.000-07:00

I've been hooked on the Fox reality talent show So You Think You Can Dance. But those clowns don't compare to this dude.

You know you're living in 2007 when...

2007-06-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t#9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to.

Courtesy of Thought Mechanics.

Just hug it out baby

2007-05-31T06:31:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day 2007 and I have chalked up yet another quintessential Seinfeld moment. We're enjoying a nice cookout at our friends Monica and Hunter's place. Helen and I are sitting on their sofa chatting with another couple when the first bailers start making the rounds to say their goodbyes.

We stand as this nice couple we met earlier in the evening approach (I'll call them Tony and Laurie to protect the innocent).

"Nice to meet you."

"Good luck with house hunting."

"Maybe we'll see you again."

Just as we enter the handshake zone, Laurie makes an almost imperceptible lean towards me. A gesture that was not accompanied by extended arms, and somewhat tentative and hesitant. Uncertain. That's probably the best description.

In the milliseconds that pass between Laurie's lean and my reaction, my brain has deciphered her movement and processed the various reasons, assumptions and responses available to me. I remember my mind making lightning quick calculations and concluding that Laurie must be one of those touchy-feely people who hug on the first meeting. Maybe it was because we'd had a pretty engaging conversation earlier in the evening, or that I'd observed how affectionate she was with her son. In any case, I found myself leaning forward in a hug.

As I reached my arms toward her, Laurie's posture stiffened and her forward momentum jolted to a halt for just a nanosecond, before her torso continued on its collision path with mine. All of a sudden I found myself in a time freeze, where everything in the physical world crawled like a slow motion video. That fraction of a second between my realization that something was terribly wrong and the consummation of our awkward hug seemed like an eternity. Only the synaptic connection between thought, recognition and embarrassment moved at hypersonic speed.

"Oh crap...what did I do? She wasn't looking for a hug you idiot!"

As we engaged in the ridiculously embarrassing hug - complete with exaggerated forward lean and staccato back patting - I realized that Laurie had simply been reaching for her purse, which was sitting on the end table behind me.

If my friends were not as nice, I probably would have been the butt of laughter and ribbing. And if I had more Jim Carey in me, I probably would have gone all the way and just given her a crazy-faced two minute hug. Alas, neither happened and it will simply be filed under another cruel moment of cosmic comedy.

Sex Bomb

2007-05-21T23:56:00.000-07:00

Normally I'm not much into figure skating unless it's accompanied by the pressure of the Olympics, but this is definitely entertaining.

What is genius?

2007-05-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

I recently read a theory that proposes that all people have the same basic mental capacity, and that the only differences are how that capacity is divided. The theory posits that normal people have a more equal distribution of capacity - think of brain capacity as a pie, divided into relatively equal pieces. Geniuses have an overly large portion of one or more parts of the pie. However, since we all have the same basic capacity, other portions of the whole would be reduced. It is commonly believed that people who are considered genius often have odd deficiencies in some behavioral or mental areas.

The equal capacity theory goes on to define idiot savants as individuals who have an abnormal abundance in one mental area, and therefore extreme deficiencies in many other areas. Such individuals can perform seemingly impossible mental tasks such as complex mathematics, but cannot tell time or remember to feed their dog. Below is a fascinating video about Stephen Wiltshire, which seems to demonstrate this interesting theory.

Marvelous Engineering

2007-05-13T23:40:00.000-07:00

I must have this.

Meet the World (Colbert Style)

2007-05-08T22:26:00.000-07:00

A slightly different take on the world - also presented in the visual medium.

Meet the World

2007-05-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

Brazilian journalist Icaro Doria's "Meet the World" project combines real data points culled from world relief organizations with national flags to create powerful visual messages about the state of the world today.

Grand Canyon Skywalk

2007-03-25T22:55:00.000-07:00

I saw this picture of a skywalk over the Grand Canyon and my first thought was COOL! After clicking through and reading the post, I can't help feeling a bit sad. I'm sure it would be a fantastic experience, but you'd think that standing on the lip of one of nature's greatest vistas would be enough without human intervention.

Now that's awfully helpful

2007-03-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

Brilliant moments #1

2007-02-28T00:17:00.000-08:00

Good thing that was only a domestic beer!

At least you can't question her spirit.

Lost in translation?

Mother of the Year!

I knew I should have held out for the 401K!

Always interesting factoids

2007-02-16T20:55:00.000-08:00

Butterflies taste with their feet.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs ...... but not downstairs.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years..

No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. SCARY!!!

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left-handed.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

"Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow.

Don't forget to pass these weird facts on to everyone you know.

They will get a kick out of it !!

You tried to lick your elbow, didn't you?

Courtesy of www.frogview.com

Let's try it on Helen

2006-12-02T01:23:00.000-08:00

Oh, yeah, Helen's a happy camper.

My celebrity look alikes

2006-12-02T00:56:00.000-08:00

See what celebrities you look like with this cool face recognition software.

Lake Kachess - 9/4/2006

2006-09-14T22:43:00.000-07:00

Lake Kachess near Snoqualmie Pass, Washington ... See my Tabblo>

9/11

2006-09-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

September 11, 2001 was an epic event in the lives of many people around the world, especially Americans. The painful and tragic stories of the victims and their families and friends have been torturously documented and absorbed by a collective American society which continues to be divided about the causes, actions, issues and responsibilities pertaining to the event. The latest controversial firestorm centers around ABC's fictional docu-drama The Path to 9/11, which has renewed the divisive discussions.

The raw emotions of 9/11 are deep wounds that have never fully healed for many. Indeed, we don't need big scale items such as the wars in Afganistan and Iraq to keep us constantly reminiscent -- every day insignificant events such as glancing down at my watch and seeing 9:11 triggers flashbacks to our generation's "Day of Infamy."

I can't lay claim to harrowing tales of escape from the WTC, but it is human nature to imagine one's connection with the "what if's" of fate. It is probably unavoidable for all of us to think about our personal connection to 9/11, and how our lives and outlook has been changed by it. One of our friends who lives in Michigan, for instance, will forever be impacted by 9/11 even though to my knowledge she did not lose anyone. Her son's birthday happens to be September 11th, and after that day he cried and told his mother that he was afraid his birthday was never going to be a happy day again. It's been a number of years since we've spoken to this friend, and hopefully her son has been able to transcend this emotional trauma. A former colleague who lived in a high-rise near the towers was cursed with an unfortunate ringside view of the unfolding events. Whereas most of us watched from the removed separation of our television sets, he probably witnessed the horror from his window, curled up hugging his own knees and crying uncontrollably. At least that's how I imagine he saw it. Later I heard how he was permanently traumatized by seeing people jump from the towers, and how he turned more and more to alcohol and drugs, showing up to work trashed when he showed up at all. He soon left the company and dropped off everyone's radar.

Five years ago today I woke up late - around 8:45 - because Helen was scheduled for a doctor's appointment later that morning. As was my routine, I turned on the morning news while making coffee. I remember the TV signal cutting out for a few seconds, replaced by a screen of snow. Before I could finish cursing the cable company, the picture came back showing the World Trade Center with smoke coming out of one of the towers. At first there was some uncertainty about what had happened. The broadcasters talked about a plane hitting the tower. I woke Helen and we watched helplessly as the world quickly spun completely out of control and comprehension.

Just the week before I'd been laid off from my job along with 400 other people caught in the latest ripples of the tech bubble implosion. I'd signed up for an outplacement workshop to be held at the World Trade Center on September 13th, but at the last minute finagled a change to an earlier session held at a different location. I think I just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. In the days after September 11th, I couldn't help but play through the "what if's" in my mind. What if I didn't change my outplacement session? What if there wasn't room in the earlier session and I had to keep my originally scheduled date? What if the terrorists had chosen September 13th or 14th instead of the 11th? What if on one of those days I arrived early to go up to the observation deck to take in the views or to have breakfast at Windows on the World? Although I'd lived in New York most of my life, I'd never been to the World Trade Center. It was not past the realm of possibility that I would take advantage of having to be there. My mind and imagination spent many dark hours measuring the cosmic distance between my small insignificant life and this apocalyptic event.

As everyone in New York talked about 9/11 in the months following, I heard many stories of people who were supposed to be in one of the towers that day but for one reason or another were not. These stories from the news and from people I actually knew made me realize how many had been going through the same feelings and helped to create the emotional distance necessary to bring life slowly back to something approaching normal. The road to normal was a long one for New York. There were the never-ending updates that filled the media channels. Weekly bomb scares caused evacuations of entire areas and flashbacks of panic. Every lamp post and community area had posters and pictures of missing people. New Yorkers couldn't help but talk about 9/11, and the energy and spirit of the city's people and public places were abnormally subdued for months.

I don't really remember when life returned to a sense of normal for me - probably because I left New York before it happened. I do remember that when we first arrived in Washington, everyone we met who learned that we just moved from New York wanted to talk about 9/11. They couldn't help but ask and in some odd way I felt as if we were soldiers returning from the front lines, sharing our first hand accounts. For us, it became an eerie and immediate connection to people, and reinforced the scale and reach of 9/11.

On this significant anniversary of 9/11, I was again taken back to that time by all the new and recycled documentaries and programs that seemed to fill the TV schedule. I must admit I sought them out. One of the most compelling was PBS's Faith and Doubt at Ground Zero, which examines 9/11 not through the typical lenses of intent, culpability, causal history or statistics, but rather by attempting to answer the unanswerable questions: Where was God on September 11th? What is the nature of evil? Is religion to blame, or is it all we have?

There were many many thought-provoking moments in that program, moments that shocked as well as enlightened my own belief and faith:

* Dr. David Benke, a Lutheran minister who participated in the interfaith "Prayer for America" held at Yankee Stadium on September 23, 2001 was accused of heresy and expelled from his post by the New York Area Lutheran Church. His "crime" was leading a prayer in a forum with leaders from other faiths, thereby lending credence to the notion that all religions are equal. It caused Dr. Benke to question his own religious beliefs as well as the concept of religion itself.

* Margo Adler, an NPR Correspondent, talked about a single line spoken by Vladimir Putin during an interview which chillingly epitomized how the hijackers could carry out such atrocities --

Vladimir Putin came to National Public Radio and gave an interview. And this became a big affair, and there were news articles about it all over the place. But the one thing that he said that I haven't forgotten- and it was never quoted anywhere. It was in no news story. But when I heard it, literally, the hair on the back of my wrists just stood up straight.

He was asked, "Well," you know, "what do you think about- what do you think when Regan said `the evil empire?' " You know, "What was your attitude?" And he said, "Well, I thought it was- you know, it was sort of a way of speaking. It was an exaggeration." And then the interviewer said to him, "Well," you know, "when George Bush talks about the"- you know, "Usama bin Laden as evil," you know, "do you think it's also a turn of phrase?" And Putin said, "No. I think that is really mild language. I have many words for them, but I couldn't say them on the air." And then he said, "We are as dust to them." That was the line that got me, "We are as dust to them."

So maybe what evil is, on some level, is when you get- when you believe in something so utterly that you lose your sense that a human being is a human being, when you feel that you can go into a building and kill 3,000 people and it doesn't matter because you are so focused on what you think is perfection and good, maybe that is a definition of evil. It's a kind of estrangement, though. It's an estrangement from your connection that these other human beings, the ones that are jumping out the window to the bottom, are just like you.

And that is probably the deepest religious perception that liberal religious tradition puts forward, that we are, you know, all human beings together on this planet in the same way, with certain kinds of values. And that's clearly what was lost.

* Dasha Rittenberg, a Holocaust survivor, pierced at my belief in God with unparriable words of experience --

I can only describe evil by giving you what I remember. Not what I read in books, but what I with my own eyes and ears heard and saw. Evil. What happened to my parents? They were the last people to leave the ghetto and they were taken to Auschwitz. I know that they were burned into ashes. My mother, my father, my three brothers, my younger sister, my uncles, my aunts, their children, burned into ashes. That's all I have seen in humanity is evil. I have seen hangings. I have seen shootings. I saw one man, his name was Mischka. He was a Ukranian. He was drunk. He would just go killing every single day. He had to have his blood on his hands -- Jewish blood. Evil. You want to hear more? So? All the ghetto life, the hunger, the poverty, the lice that were crawling on my body. Evil. Evil people just patting their dogs and then killing a child because it was Jewish. Evil? OK? Hitting, slapping, for no reason, because you were not even in line with the next person. Being hit by dogs and bitten -- the blood running out of your feet. Evil. People would go to sleep every night and get up in the morning and eat and drink and be evil. Were they too created in the image of God? I don't know. What does it say about God?

* I marvelled at Brian Doyle's essay and Ian McEwan's interview which showcase an inspiring ability to extract the message of love from the inconceivable horrors of seeing people jump from the burning towers.

This anniversary has affected me much more than I would have ever imagined. I have spent more time and energy in reflection and remembrance than at any time since 2001. The past few days have certainly revealed that the wound is still raw and deep. The answers are still not clear.

Sidewalk art

2006-09-09T23:04:00.000-07:00

Most of you have probably seen Julian Beever's artwork on the net. Truly amazing. Something I'd love to see in person someday.

Farewell Corndawg

2006-09-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

Friday was Jeff's last day at Cingular. Although his tenure at Cingular (and AWS before that) lasted over 3 years, Corndawg's only been with our group for little more than a year.

In that time he's proven to be industrious, creative and extremely capable. More than that, he's brought a zany energy to our group. Jeff is famous for his office wagers - not the type that involves money, but that more rare and sweetest of prizes - bragging rights. Who can forget the famous Super Bowl wager? Or the endless rounds of cubicle plinking and paper football? His cube was always like Grand Central Station - noisy, chatty, pealing with laughter, and heavily trafficked. Newly minted colleagues and oldtimers alike were instantly drawn into Jeff's circle. A visit to the Corndawg Corner guaranteed a lightening of the proverbial load, no matter what time of day or what mess needed to be solved.

In short, Jeff always brought an extra helping of fun to share with his fellow citizens of Dilbertland. He was by far the most beloved character of our little bunch. So much so that there wasn't just one, but three going away parties. We'll miss ya, Corndawg.

Best use of a Segway

2006-08-24T23:51:00.000-07:00

The Mariners get my vote for best use (and implementation) of a Segway transport.

Happy Anniversary!

2006-08-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Helen and my 7th anniversary, and I've got a hunch it'll be one of our most memorable. Neither of us finds it necessary to go overboard to celebrate special days - birthdays, Valentines Day, anniversaries. We'll go out to a nice dinner or go for drinks, but my feeling is I can choose to make any day a special day, and I don't freak out if people don't make a big deal on my behalf. I'm pretty sure Helen's of the same mindset, so we weren't upset or perturbed when the latest launch was scheduled on the night of our anniversary.

When we entered the Willows campus conference room a little after midnight, our colleagues gave us a round of applause and a hearty chorus of "Happy Anniversary!" J-Fo even brought us an anniversary balloon attached to a bag of candy. It was very sweet. Did I mention the team we work with is simply awesome? They are smart, hard working, dedicated, creative, and generally happy funny people who are passionate about the work but can totally pal around with you. Most of the people on our team are people I'd want to be friends with even if I didn't work with them. They are, without a doubt, the best reason I have to go to work every day.

So this is the way Helen and I spent the night of our 7th anniversary - laughing and working with a bunch of the smartest, nicest people you'd ever find in Redmond on a Tuesday night. For the first couple of hours, while we were waiting for the new code to be installed, we entertained ourselves by watching funny clips, amazing b-ball dunks, and listening to "Working Where The Sun Don't Shine" (The Colorectal Surgeon's Song). Thanks for sharing, Jeff.

As it turned out, the launch didn't go as planned, and night turned into day (look at the window in the 2 pictures at left) as we conducted a rollback.

We were all dead tired as the hours mounted and people fresh from their full night's sleep and morning Starbucks started rolling into the office. A couple of them happened into the conference room, looked at us, and backed out with a "wet puppy" look of sympathy. Or maybe they were just scared of Tish, who for some reason started to transform into the unabomber.
Besides the obviously disappointing failure to launch, there was only one other thing that was amiss - the notable absence of PJ, who had been a fixture at all of our prior launches. This time, PJ was scheduled for the "day shift" covering for all the folks who were on the night shift. With the unforseen problems during rollback, it got late (or early) enough that PJ actually made it in to commiserate with us, and to take over for the deployment team. With the rollback complete, Helen and I headed home to let Jack out and get some rest. I don't know which member of the team was the last to leave, but my bet would be on Oliver.

It may not be most people's idea of a happy anniversary, but I know this is one night I'll look back on with great fondness.

Friends don't let friends watch golf

2006-08-22T06:31:00.000-07:00

One of the Senior PGA tour stops takes place right in our neighborhood and residents get free passes to the event, so we walked over to the clubhouse and attended our first ever professional golf event. Let me tell you - as boring as golf is on television, wathing it live is 1000 times more boring. On television they use cutaways and multiple cameras allow you to see the golfers up close and see the concentration on their faces. After the action is over at one hole they can zip you over to another part of the course - editing out the long pauses between shots and the even longer wait while the players are taking their sweet time sauntering down the fairway. These guys may be able to hit the ball 300 yards, but they sure ain't breaking any track records getting to the ball for the next shot. Watching golf live you totally lose the magical benefits of technology and editing which at least has some measure of success in keeping your attention. There's probably a greater difference between golf the television experience and golf live than any sport I can think of. Maybe if it was the regular PGA tour instead of the Legends it might be more exciting.

So the lesson here kids, don't let your pals trick you into going to watch a golf tournament at least until you can officially become a member of AARP. Resist with all your might. Don't let them fool ya with the old "it's more exciting watching them live" or "it's just like going to the Mariner game." But then again, I guess it's still not as bad as getting poked in the eye with a stick. I think.

Bring out the brooms

2006-08-21T21:51:00.000-07:00

Over the wall of my Dilbert cubicle today came Heidi's mournful voice, "The Yankees swept!" Her lament wasn't directed at me, but at Jeff - our resident sports fanatic and die-hard Mariner fan. Both native Washingtonians, they have an ingrained hatred of all New York teams, and the Yankees in particular. Of course, I dared not snicker out loud, though I couldn't help breaking out into what must have been an evil grin. Good thing for cubicle walls.

I know I shouldn't revel in the misery of Sawx fans, and I'll probably go to hell, or worse, suffer the wrath of the baseball gods by swallowing a late September collapse of my beloved pinstripers. But I have to share this gem of a blog post I found on www.survivinggrady.com

Here's everything you need to know about yesterday's game in a nutshell: In the bottom of the fourth, down 3-0, we came screaming back with two walks and four straight hits -- one of them a Manny home run -- to take the lead, 4-3. We had the Unit scrambling and in the dugout, you could just see Francona snuggling up to Momentum, slowly but craftily working his hands to the buttons of her blouse. In short, everything starting to look our way. Then Kapler comes up with the bases loaded and a chance to blow it all apart... and meekly grounds into a double play to end the inning. Just like that, Momentum picks up her sweater and pocketbook and heads across the field.

Later, in the top of the sixth, the Yanks loaded the bases on three straight walks, and Jorge Posada stepped to the plate with the bases loaded and a chance to blow it all apart. And he does, smacking a triple to no man's land.

See, that's a big difference. Whenever they needed the big hit, they got it. When we did, we didn't. And it hasn't helped that our pitching has suckled the teat of crudliness for the past three games.

I knew it had the chance to be bad, this series, but I'll be honest -- I didn't expect the schoolyard beat-down that's been going on. This has been an embarassment of epic porportions, punctuated by moments of baseball so profoundly bad, I've been forced to wonder how this team has kept my hopes aloft for the better part of this season. Each subsequent game has brought horrors more ghastly and inexplicable than the previous, to the point that if Abreau and Damon simply drove a pick-up truck around the bases, mowing our players down one-by-one, I probably wouldn't flinch. This is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad baseball. Giving up 28 walks to one of the most offensively potent line-ups in the game? No soup for you, my friends. No soup for you.

Despite my sudden urge to booze up and riot, I'll keep myself grounded with the thought that if we win the next two games, we'll be only two and a half games behind the Yankees. And we could still -- mathematically if not realistically -- catch 'em.

But, seriously, if Curt coughs up six runs in the first couple innings tonight, I'm gonna have to wash my hands of this series and just put on some porno.

So delicious.

Giddy Up Pinstrippers

2006-08-20T23:26:00.000-07:00

When the Red Sox - Yankees series was approaching this weekend, I couldn't have imagined a better outcome than what has transpired so far. The Bombers won both games of a double header on Friday, with prodigal son Johnny Damon returning to torment the Fenway faithful.

Saturday the Yanks followed up Friday's twin killing with another pounding of the Sox. I gleefully imbibed the self torment of Red Sox Nation by reading through a few of the numerous fan blogs.

Just when you didn't think it could get any better, Sunday night the Sox took a 5-3 lead into the 8th inning only to see it wiped out with 2 outs in the 9th on a Derek Jeter flair to right to score Melky Cabrera. Giambi and Posada followed with home runs in the 10th, and Rivera closed the deal on a most excruciating loss. Of course the pennant's not won yet, and you just know it's going to get down to the wire...but it's not a bad time to be a Yankee fan.

Cool clever video from OK GO

2006-08-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

Cycling along the Sammamish River

2006-07-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

Just as I was settling into my work routine this morning, our friend PJ called to propose a bike ride along the Sammamish River Trail. Reflecting on all the sun and fun we both missed out on last summer, I had to go for it. The weather couldn't have been nicer - mid-70's, sunny, with a slight breeze to help ventilate. Lots of folks were out with the same idea on such a gorgeous weekend, but the crowds thinned out as we made our way toward the wineries. Just before the sod farms we rode by a model air field where enthusiasts were launching their non-motorized planes. It was the first long ride of the season, so we took an easy pace to build up our "bicycle butts." What an awesome way to start the weekend.

Helen's Weekend Project

2006-07-12T22:53:00.000-07:00

Helen's become enchanted with the large variety of birds that live in the Northwest. Since we haven't planted any trees or shrubs yet, the only birds we get are crows and finches. So Helen got a nice bird house, which she painted and put in our back yard.

A picture is worth... (part 2)

2006-07-11T00:08:00.000-07:00

If you're gonna call yourself Creative Girl...you gotta do better than this.

A picture is worth...

2006-07-10T23:40:00.000-07:00

My blog friend Stella recently despaired about not having the time, energy, motivation, or a combo platter of all three to write in her blog. Stella laments that sometimes she takes the easy way out by simply posting a picture instead of crafting some rivoting observations. The truth is she puts most of us non-professional-web-pundits to shame and I'm personally in awe of her.

As you can undoubtedly surmise from my efforts, I'm a firm believer in the power of pictures (or lack of motivation - take your pick). I recently came upon a primo example to prove my thesis. So here it is - dedicated to my friend Stella.

Stop the drama puh-leeze!

2006-07-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

During the morning commute I listened to Frank Deford lament about the death of American tennis because there were no Yanks left in this year's Wimbledon tournament. Deford ascribes such significance to the event as to call it the "first crack in the edifice of the American Empire."

What sappy, self-absorbed, melodramatic crawp! Wasn't it just a couple of years ago that the Williams sisters dominated women's pro tennis? The sisters won 5 of the last 6 Wimbledons! Didn't Andy Roddick and Pete Sampras sneak in back-to-back US Open Championships just a couple of years ago? What is Deford talking about???!!! The way he makes it sound, US tennis is suffering a drought of biblical proportions. To compound his folly, Deford spends half of his commentary providing us with his reasons and excuses why American tennis has been lulled into hibernation.

It's exactly the type of sensational journalism that feeds the American stereotype. We experience a hiccup in American dominance in one of our traditionally strong sports and it's the end of the world. Frank...do us a favor - keep this type of drivel pent in until no American wins a major for at least 3 years.

Blue C

2006-07-02T23:50:00.000-07:00

Helen and I took advantage of the holiday weekend by heading into Seattle. Based on our experiences in New York, we hypothesized that the city would be empty as people head out of town. We headed to U Village intending to grab some lunch, look around the shops, and catch the Yankees-Mets game at The Ram.

I'm happy to report we went 2 for 3. We did wander around the shops, all relatively empty for such a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Lunch was at the quirky "Kaiten" sushi joint Blue C. The entire place is built around a conveyor belt system which whips around bringing an assortment of dishes to every seat in the house. You just pick off what you want, or wait for the next group of dishes to roll by. The decor is simple and modern, almost Warholesque. The not-quite-subdued techno beat playing in the background was tuned just right - a few decibles below annoying but always noticeable. You could tune it out if you were talking or you could surrender to its invitation for bopping in your chair.

The food was quite good. Fresh, good quality, and enough of an assortment for both the raw buff and the sushi-squeamish. We especially enjoyed the Spider roll, Unagi roll and the Japanese cream puffs. I quite recommend a visit if you're in U Village and in the mood for a quick meal.

The Yankees-Mets game was rain delayed so I ended up watching the game from home. All in all, a most enjoyable Sunday.

Bianca Ryan

2006-06-25T01:37:00.000-07:00

Another star in the making - and she's only eleven!

America's Got Talent

2006-06-25T00:16:00.000-07:00

Been watching one of the spin offs from American Idol called "America's Got Talent." It's a similar formula, but almost like Idol on fast forward. The acts come out, do their stuff, get passed to the next round or buzzed off - never to return.

Lots of funny stuff, and some really incredible talent, like the guys in this video.

And now the funny side of sports

2006-06-06T06:18:00.000-07:00

Sports bloopers are just as amazing and entertaining.

Lights Out!

2006-06-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

Sports and athletes never cease to amaze me. Here's LeBron James making some unbelievable shots at practice.

Funniest Synopsis Ever

2006-05-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

"Woman, 44, nabbed for sex with boy, 13. The Smoking Gun is - SWEET MOTHER OF GOD MY EYES MY EYES"

You have to read the story to get the full effect. Courtesy of Fark.

Laziness...that's what it is

2006-05-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

Man it's been a long time since I've posted anything but pictures - call it being boring, or too busy, or just plain laziness. At least the weather's getting nice and we can take Jack for some nice walks around the 'hood.

Damn I forgot my skis!

2006-05-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

We've had an exceptional snow year, and even though the ski areas officially closed last weekend, there's still a lot of it around. As it so happens, Jack absolutely looooves the snow, so as dutiful dog parents, we drove out to the Pass to let him get his fill.

Chasing a Rainbow

2006-04-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

On the drive home today we got to chase a rainbow. Amazing - I've never seen the end of the rainbow before!

Reasons to visit the blog(vlog)sphere # 37

2006-04-03T22:47:00.000-07:00

There are some seriously talented people out there. Here are two 14-year-old girls we'll be hearing on the radio some day.

Parenting quote of the month

2006-03-24T23:20:00.000-08:00

At a party tonight, two colleagues were talking about the challenges of raising teenage kids. After swapping some stories and sharing some commiserating similarities, the inevitable question came up:

"So how many do you have?"

"Two - a boy and a girl. How many do you have?"

"We have three. With two you can handle them one-on-one...with 3 you have to play zone."

Can we kick them out of the union?

2006-03-23T00:07:00.000-08:00

The state of Texas is arresting people who are drunk - in bars! In an attempt to prevent disorderly conduct and drunk driving, undercover officers are going into bars and arresting anyone who is considered to be overly intoxicated. I'm all for stopping drunk drivers -- but arresting drunken people while they're in the bar???!!! What kind of sense is this?

On the news report I saw a woman who was arrested while she was partying in her hotel bar. She didn't have any intention of driving, since she'd just go upstairs to her room! A few of the folks arrested for drunk and disorderly had designated drivers with them! This is scary, and I hope these people sue the hell out of the Lone Star state. I think Texas has easily taken the lead in the dumbass state competition with this one.

Spring is coming, spring is coming!

2006-03-19T23:37:00.000-08:00

Another absolutely stunning day in Snoqualmie.

Spring is definitely in the air.

Golden girl.

Walking towards Mt. Si and home.

I guess we can put up with the winter rain if we get this three seasons out of the year.

One simple line of code

2006-03-16T23:36:00.000-08:00

Today's subject: a little parable about the complexities and obtuseness of our software dependent world.

Last night during our launch we encountered a problem which provoked the decision to roll back. It wasn't that the code was horribly broken, but the discovery of the issue with only 15 minutes left before the "point-of-no-return" gave us no time to try for a fix.

Ten minutes after the roll back decision was made, the dev team announced that they'd tracked down the bug and that it was a simple one line code change. After weighing the risk against the need to come back and try again the next day, the decision was made to go for it. Everything turned out well and although it took a little longer and some stomach churn, we were able to successfully deploy.

The rub is, right at the start of our night, we'd discovered that a feature that had been working in production was suddenly not working. So during the course of the launch, our talented project manager was working that problem at the same time. All of the different network elements seemed to be working, and we were having no luck tracking down why this feature had stopped working. Early in the evening we found out that one of the gateway teams had been updating some code on the load balancers, but they didn't think that it would have caused the problem. So even after we'd successfully launched our code at 4:45, the team had to stay to work on this new issue. After 6 hours of troubleshooting with an ever growing team of folks on the conference bridge, after waking folks up at 3:00 AM, and through a shift change on some teams, it was discovered that the "one line of code" implemented on the load balancers earlier was indeed the culprit.

One simple line of code...

Yay...it's almost Monday!

2006-03-12T22:54:00.001-08:00

You may think I'm crazy but I look forward to Mondays -- because '24' is on Monday nights. Helen and I are addicted to that show - we've seen every episode since the series began.

It's hard to maintain a suspense-filled series from episode to episode, much less from season to season, so I've got to tip my hat to the series' writers. This season they've written even more twists and turns into the plot - starting by killing off 2 of the main characters from previous seasons (President David Palmer and former CTU head Michele Dessler).

In the last episode, Agent Jack Bauer, played by Keifer Sutherland, had to extract information out of a former boss by threatening to shoot him in the knee. Leave it to the dudes at Television Without Pity to come up with the funniest online poll.

A rant about fortune and fate

2006-03-09T23:32:00.000-08:00

I am saddened and shocked by the news story about a 24-year-old grad student who was brutally raped and murdered in New York. A random act of unspeakable and unimaginable violence that I normally try to block out of my life and my thoughts. It is the type of story which really hits home (literally) for me, since before moving out to Washington I spent most of my life in New York City, grew up in Brooklyn where her body was discovered, and used to play volleyball and basketball at John Jay College where she was getting her masters degree in criminology.

It is the type of news event that most tugs at my feral fears and disturbs my cloak of contentment. This is the stuff that shouldn't happen here, that shouldn't exist period. But when the objective nature of my mind is forced to contemplate this, it is obvious that this heinous event is not so rare on this planet of ours. Things like this happen every day around the world - it just doesn't usually happen here. If we look for it, we can find evidence of senseless suffering in Somalia, Bosnia, Cambodia...it can go on and on...and for most of us, we could not even begin to imagine, much less stomach.

As sad and maddening as this horrible tragedy is, what saddens me more is the knowledge that so many people who are as fortunate as I seem so oblivious to how lucky they are. For instance, there's a former colleague who seems unable to come to the realization that he's not the center of the universe, the cat's meow, or the most unique and creative individual on the face of the planet. And that it's okay to be just ordinary like the rest of us. It's not that he's lacking in intellect or talent, and it's not even that he seems to be "holding out" for the clear recognition of said talent and intellect careerwise. It's that he's been holding out for 5 years, AND totally unwilling to accept perfectly fitting work. We're not talking about flipping burgers at Mickey D's, although there's certainly no shame in that if it pays the rent.

What's probably the saddest part about this friend's state is that he continues to hold the same sanctimonious attitudes about the most silly things. For example this guy

Refuses to wear anything other than jeans and sneakers, even wielding this personal preference as an excuse to avoid obligations to attend weddings and formal events
Holds in disdain anyone who wears khakis, because in his view they are all corporate lackeys - even if they genuinely prefer this style of dress
Thinks that if you don't live in New York City or London you can't truly be cool
Sneers at anyone who professes a love for family and children

All the while, my friend seems oblivious to the fact that while he's been adrift for 5 years, the rest of the world has moved on.

Looking forward to Beijing 2008

2006-02-27T06:25:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of Getty Images

Sadly I watched the close of the Torino Games last night. Don't know why but the end of any Olympics (or other sporting culmination) always brings out the nostalgic side of me. Maybe it's just the cathartic release of spectator tension and adrenaline.

I've always been this way. I love the drama of sport: the intensity, the oscillation of emotions, the developing storylines of individual players, the pressure of winning and losing. Sport is my theater, and the Olympic Games are the top of the Broadway heap. [Sigh] Two more years to the Beijing Olympics. I'm really looking forward to the 2008 games because I recently watched a show on the Discovery Channel about the construction of the new olympic venues. They look amazing. I recorded part of the show on my DVR but forgot to save it so it got bumped when new programs were recorded. Anyone happen to have a copy of that show?

Amazing full court shot

2006-02-25T00:25:00.000-08:00

Beautiful Lake Wenatchee

2006-02-20T18:40:00.000-08:00

Reasons to visit the Blogsphere - #84

2006-02-14T22:48:00.000-08:00

I am an observer by nature. Many times at parties I'm perfectly content to sit amongst a group of interesting folks and just listen to them espouse their views. The world of blogs has opened up many thousands of these conversations for my voyeuristic enjoyment. I can happily and unintrusively "listen in" on conversations between people, and even participate if I so choose.

Just like in the real world, cyber conversations range from the trivial and moronic to the cosmic and philosophical. The great thing is that both acquaintances and complete strangers can share opinions and learn about each other, and you don't have to be in the same physical place. Nor do the conversations need to take place in real time. Best of all, for someone like me, I can be in on these exchanges as they happen or even after they happen. It's like little bits of people's minds floating in the digital galaxies that I can examine any time I want. It's the combination of a time machine, a mind reader, and a cosmic telephone.

One of the more interesting blogs I've come upon is Stella Nole. The posts are not always significant or deep (and not that they have to be mind you) - often it's just about a daily event. What I admire about Stella's writing is its honesty and intention to offer full exposure of her thoughts and feelings. Her writing is often funny, entertaining, and very much "in-the-moment." I'm also jealous of the relationship she has with her cadre of readers, who respond frequently and with like honesty in dialogue. An example is a recent entry about a topic which I'm sure we've all struggled with.

I've enjoyed listening in for the past few months, even though I don't really know Stella or any of the people who frequent her blog. Her willingness to share her mind, heart and soul makes me feel as if I know her. Stay well, Stella, and stay in touch.

Return of the sun

2006-02-11T23:09:00.000-08:00

Jack enjoying a beautiful day on the "Ridge."

The agony of defeat

2006-02-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

Almost a week has gone by and Seattle's healed enough for me to update my fair readers on the happenings around here for SB XL. Our party was a lot of fun - until the end. We had a pretty good turnout and lots of food and drink. Helen's sweet potato and shrimp fritters were a big hit.

The game was like an Olympic wrestling match - long stretches of tense, grunting exertion with short bursts of explosive action. With so many die-hard 'Hawks fans in da house, eyes were glued to the action on the screen. There were 6 kids at the party, so they scampered around creating minor distractions for their parents, but only barely. Each time the 'Hawks made a good play, the room would fill with whoops and cheers. Plenty of high fives and "Go Hawks" passed around. Too many times though, they'd be followed by groans as questionable calls or devastating penalties would pop the bubble of excitement.

When it became clear during the last 2 minutes that the Steelers were going to be the champs, an awful empty feeling joined our merry little party. Our friends Hunter and Heidi were probably the most devastated, although pretty much everyone left within 15 minutes after the game concluded. No one wanted to watch the post game. I can imagine many parties in the Seattle area that probably ended the same way as ours.

I can only imagine the scene wherever "Corndawg" Cornwell happened to be. The week leading up to the Super Bowl, Corndawg had been psyching up for the game, even entering into "The Wager" with our colleague and Steeler fan Michael Byrd. Details of "The Wager" are depicted below, in a photo of the actual contract. Basically the loser would have to provide 20 donuts and 4 apple fritters, along with the painful and ignominious dishonor of decorating his cube with the opponent's colors, wearing the opposing team's jersey for the day, and using the tagline "Seahawks suck" or "Steelers suck" for their IM.

Here is the ugly aftermath of "The Wager" - Poor Jeff had to skulk around the office all day in a Steeler's jersey. Of course, I took a picture to properly document the whole thing for posterity. Hey Jeff, at least you guys didn't go with my suggestion for face painting. Go 'Hawks in '06.

Here he is - India's answer to Usher!

2006-02-05T23:58:00.000-08:00

Scouring the corners of the earth to bring you talent like you've never dreamed!

Spelling bee fainting

2006-02-02T23:19:00.000-08:00

A kid faints at a pressure packed spelling bee. But watch as he not only recovers, but actually spells the word correctly. Most of us couldn't do what this kid does. Keep your eye on this kid - he's going to do great things some day.

Snow in the Cascades

2006-01-22T23:16:00.000-08:00

View of Mt. Si covered with snow from our house.

Overheard at lunch

2006-01-19T23:44:00.000-08:00

File under - You had to be there to appreciate it.

Jennifer (spunky colleague) :
"My cat had some eating problems too, and every time I take him to the vet they can't find anything wrong, and I'm out $400."

Prasantha (noted wisecraker):
"Next time, don't take him to the vet. Just bring him to me and I'll only charge you $300 to tell you nothing's wrong."

Helen (ever pragmatic):
"What are you saying - that you're like a 'Cat Whisperer'? That you can read its mind? I can't stand those type of shows...they are so hokey. They're totally fake."

Me (opportunistic teaser):
"Huh? What about that show you always watch -- The Dog Whisperer?"

Helen:
"Oh that's different...that's real."

Is this the best we can do?

2006-01-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

Bill Wixey of Channel 13 is trying to coin a catchphrase for the Seahawks' playoff run -- Git Er Done.

Must admit it's catchy - I've been using or misusing it all day. It rolls off the tongue with a certain silly nonchalance, and I find myself being able to slip it into all sorts of situations. Try it out for yourself - say it a few times while you're watching the tube, or tucking your kids into bed. It goes well when you're asking for a check from the waitress.

I thought we had a winner, but I looked up the phrase on the Urban Dictionary, and I'm thinking maybe we could do better. Any suggestions?

Dancing with Kenny Mayne

2006-01-17T22:05:00.000-08:00

In a previous post I poked fun at ESPN sportscaster Kenny Mayne's hoofing skills. Here's the proof - judge for yourself.

Alert: Missing Fan PSA

2006-01-14T07:52:00.000-08:00

So I'm having a Super Bowl party, and this looks and feels like the year for the 'Hawks, contrary to Ted's misgivings. Everyone's excited about the playoffs, and our friend Hunter is even considering going to Detroit in the middle of winter if the Seahawks make it to the big dance. I'm in direct competition with about 50,000 SB parties in King County, so it's understandable that a lot of people have other plans.

It was, however, rather disturbing when my colleague Jeff informed me that he couldn't attend, and...GASP! wasn't even going to be near a television. Folks, we're talking about Jeff "I watched the Saskatchewan curling finals last night" Cornwell here. The biggest sports fan - you name it, any sport - I know.

So it wasn't really a surprise when I came across this NFL Missing Fan announcement on the internet. Good people - please help in the effort to find this wayward sports nut. Report any sightings here and we'll notify the proper authorities.

Comet - an original by Helen

2006-01-13T22:13:00.000-08:00

About a year ago, Helen started getting an itch to paint. Old school, messy, splatter-on-the-rug art. She's always been very creative, but mostly on the digital frontier. She was doing 2D and 3D computer animation before most of us knew what that even meant, and although the samples are pretty basic compared to what can be done today, you gotta remember that Helen created those 15 years ago using a "blazing fast 40MHz" Apple IIfx with a maximum capacity of 128 MB of RAM. Incredible.

Her artistic ambition has really flowered over the past year through her exploration of colors and textures. "Comet" is her latest work and hangs in the gallery outside our bedroom. Click on the picture to see a larger image. Enjoy and feel free to offer critique by clicking on the comment link below. I'm sure she'd love to hear (or read) your thoughts.

Goin' for the record!

2006-01-12T22:04:00.000-08:00

This advisory is for all our friends back east:

Yes, the reports you've been hearing on the news are true - we have had 25 consecutive days of rain. Not 24/7 rain, but yes, every day. Some days are worse - like rainy days in New York, and others are cloudy with spots of rain, mostly at night. One day this week the sun even came out for a few hours. This is why Seattle has the reputation it's got.

No doubt this is the worst spell of weather we've had since we moved here, but...you know what I'm gonna say...this is the exception. Listening to a radio talk show on the way to work this morning, the hosts are talking about the Seahawks playoff game this Saturday. One of the hosts observed that if it rained during the game, it might portend good luck for the 'Hawks since earlier this season they came back to win a big game against Dallas in the rain. The surprise is that it was the first rainy Seahawks game in the new stadium which opened in 2002.

If it rains for 9 more days in a row, we'll beat a 1953 record. This is in direct contradiction to some of the tall tales we've heard about the 'hundred straight days of rain.' It is pretty amazing that we've had measurable rain 25 days in a row, and it has caused flooding, mud slides and other problems. It's even become news all around the country. I read an article on Boston.com about the record rainfall. Even so, at the conclusion of the article, the writer does point out that...

Though Seattle is famous for its rain, the city's average annual rainfall from 1970 to 2000 was 37.07 inches, compared with 49.71 inches for New York City.

Nah, I think it'll take a lot more rain to change my sunny disposition.