Dave & the giant bullfrog

Helen's been having some fun at my expense telling the story about my bullfrog encounter, so I'm here to set the record straight.

A couple of months ago I'm going through my morning routine -- feed Jack, contribute to Starbuck's quarterly profits, check daily schedule on the Blackberry -- when I notice a big green bullfrog just outside the doors of our patio. This thing was huge, and he's sitting there like he's waiting for me to invite him in for pancakes.

Of course I call for Helen to come and see the frog, and she comes running down the stairs only to chide me for scaring her half to death. Now we have a pretty big house and sometimes I have to yell if she's on the other side of the house, so I must have been bellowing somewhat excitedly. Also, I'm kinda afraid of the thing. It's big and squishy, and sits there staring at me with those droopy amphibian eyes. Meanwhile, the commotion has brought Jack over, and he's barking at the frog through the glass. I thought for sure the thing would jump away any second, but nope, he's just sitting there.

I take Jack out the front door on a leash and come around on the frog from the side of the house. Jack is barking and growling as we get about 4 feet away, but the thing never even moves. Now I'm really afraid of the thing because basically he's not afraid of me or Jack! I grab one of Jack's tennis balls and bounce it right in front of the frog...and nothing! Not even a twitch. Yeeeecch, makes me queasy just remembering it.

Of course, Helen blabs about my encounter every chance she gets, so everyone at work is teasing me about the big scary frog. So yeah, frogs aren't my favorite type of animal, especially ones the size of Shaquille O'Neill's fist.